Trust, how can I… trust… your love.
Robert Glasper featuring Marsha Ambrosius – TRUST
“I can’t do this anymore”
Without even thinking and already knowing the answer I asked, “What do you mean? What is this?”
I wanted to scream! I wanted to cry! But I kept my dignity long enough to attempt to have a conversation about the series of unfortunate events and miscommunication that had lead to his final declaration of independence. Since then, I’ve read every text message from the past few months. Almost daily. Replayed every interaction and conversation in my mind, the first date, the first kiss…the last day together, the last kiss, he didn’t even kiss me goodbye. If you’ve ever seen all of your hopes and dreams in a person that you loved, then you understand completely what I’m talking about. One day I was planning my life and future around him, our relationship, our friendship, US. We were supposed to be a team! The next power couple! We talked about being the “generational curse breakers” in our family. We has established a strong foundation of friendship first and would have a loving relationship that would withstand the broken relationships that were common among our families and friends. I trusted love, but in the end love wasn’t enough.
The truth about Demetrice, I love LOVE! I enjoy having someone to share my hopes, dreams and failures with. My heart still smiles when I think about holding his hand or waking up next to him in the morning. Being in love makes me a better me! The truth is I LOVE hard! So much so that when I’m disappointed by love it takes a physical and mental toll on me. I blame myself. I eat an entire row of Oreos in one sitting. I reflect on ways that I need to change and improve to make love work. The truth is LOVE works. LOVE is enough. My trust in LOVE has been shaken. Again! This isn’t the first heartbreak and I can’t say that this will be the last one but I can say that it hurts. My heart is broken. I still believe in LOVE. These Bible verses about love are for me, for my healing, for my understanding. These bible verses are for my trust in love to be restored. This is for LOVE.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23 NLT
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Romans 12:9 NLT
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 NIV
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT
I’m also reading and studying A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.